Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Jennifer Has A Nice Body, But The Movie Is Crap

Hollywood usually saves the better horror movies for release around Halloween, the bigger companies release several scary movies a year and the smaller companies struggle to just get one out. Sitting through the new movie by writer Diablo Cody was a struggle in mindless stupidity, "Jennifer's Body" offers nothing to be scared of, nothing to cringe over, the blood is all off screen and in shadows. I thought Rob Zombie gave us nothing to be afraid of, well he now has competition in that area, director Karyn Kusama uses the body and face of the movies lead actress to propel the story and it just doesn't work.

The movie starts in present time and soon after we are introduced to Needy (Amanda Seyfried) and learn about what we think is the outcome of the battle between good and evil, it gives us a flashback to tell just how Needy ends up where we first meet her, but if you are unfortunate enough to stick around through this boringly stupid movie you will of course find out that there is more than meets the eye about our little Needy. The movie is told in flashbacks, or I should say several flashbacks, yes we get the flashback in a flashback plot line here, and that makes little sense, leaving at least me to wonder did Diablo Cody run out of original ideas after Juno?

The town is called Devil Kettle because of a water fall that descends into a mysterious hole in the ground that no one knows where it goes, the school is in the center of town and all the towns kids go there, including Anita Lesnicky and her BFF Jennifer (Megan Fox) and her boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons) after a tragedy occurs Jennifer is whisked away by the members of a band Low Shoulder and things began to change in the town of Devil's Kettle. While the town is trying to cope with the death of several of it members, a new evil starts to make itself known. First to be killed is a school jock named Jonas (Josh Emerson) then the death's start to mount. The shameful thing is we NEVER see it happen.

The cast is full of memorable cameos, and that begins to make up for the movies dumb plot line, but it just doesn't make anything better. The kiss scene between Needy and Jennifer will make some people hoot and holler but again it doesn't save the mess that this film is. Diablo Cody had such a promising start with Juno, the one liners in that movie stung and hit home, in Jennifer's body they fall flat. This is a scary movie that just isn't scary, there is one scene where Jennifer spews some black goo that may make some cringe, it made me cringe only because it was dumb.

But the guy that steals every scene he is in is Adam Brody. Brody is the lead singer of Low Shoulder, a band who's single is played everywhere and becomes a sort of unofficial anthem for the town after a freak fire burns down the club they play at. To bad he couldn't be in every scene. Megan Fox couldn't save this movie even if she had tried to play it serious instead of campy.

I give Jennifer's Body a 1 and on my avoidance scale a 2 stay at home and watch this one when it comes on cable that way you will only be out the time you wasted on it. This is the time of year that horror reigns supreme, unfortunately with this movie, it gets off to a very weak start.

Jennifer's Body is rated R for Sexuality, Bloody Violence, Language and Brief Drug Use
Running time is 1 hr. 42 mins.

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