Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Went To Observe This Movie And Report It Sucks

When comedies take the "dark" road, they tend to have one thing in common. They are vulgar. And "Observe And Report" doesn't stray from this formula for even a second. That's a bad fit considering the talent behind this movie, maybe because of his other roles we expect so much from Seth Rogan, but in this waste of talent, we are exposed to his lack of ability to carry a starring role on his own.

An anonymous flasher (Randy Gambill) exposes himself to shoppers in the Forest Ridge Mall parking lot. The Bi-polar head of security, Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogen), makes it his mission to apprehend the offender. He is assisted by the Yuen twins (Matt and John Yuan), Charles (Jesse Plemons) and Dennis (Michael Peña) in his efforts to keep the mall safe for shoppers. Ronnie lives with his alcoholic mother (Celia Weston), she is a bane in Ronnie's life, but he is so self centered that he can't see this simple truth. Ronnie's dream girl, Brandi (Anna Faris) who works at a make-up counter, is flashed in the parking lot the next afternoon. She is so distraught that the police are called in to help catch the flasher. Ronnie tries to comfort Brandi until the police can arrive on the scene, Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta), arrives and takes over, pushing Ronnie out of the investigation. He is so mad that once the detective leaves he yells that the detective will hamper his pursuit of the flasher, Ronnie is really threatened by this detective and is upset that his boss allowed an outside person to infringe on the search for the offender.

The flashing isn't the only crime being committed in the mall, a masked person is breaking into stores while the mall is closed, stealing whatever it is that grabs his fancy. Detective Harrison is once again called in to investigate, his efforts are hindered by Ronnie's unusual attempts to resolve the matter. In response, Harrison curses out Ronnie during a meeting with Ronnie's superior. In defiance of the detectives angry rant, Ronnie decides to take the steps necessary to become a real police officer. Ronnie obtains preliminary documents needed to become a police officer from a recruiting station, including forms for a physical and a psychological profile check, of course when he has to go before a review board, he rants that he has a dream where he is seen as a savior, only with a really big gun. Ronnie decides to ride along with Detective Harrison. Harrison, fed up with Ronnie, tricks him into walking into the most dangerous part of town, then drives off. Ronnie then is confronted by and subsequently subdues several drug dealers, victoriously returning to the police station with one of the Dealers son's where he sarcastically thanks detective Harrison for his help.

Ronnie goes to a coffee shop and gets free coffee everyday he speaks to Nell (Collette Wolfe), a friendly food court worker, who is in a leg cast and is being made fun of by her boss. Ronnie pays little attention to this though, what he has come for is to ask Nell for advice on asking Brandi out. The day of the big date comes and Ronnie is out front Brandi's house when she finally comes home, she says she forgot about the date, but agrees to go anyway, they go to dinner at a bar and Brandi drinks shot after shot, and gets rip roaring drunk, yes I guess this is supposed to be funny. When Ronnie takes her home, he is next seen having sex with her and she is passed out from the alcohol. The next day Ronnie finds out that he failed the police exams and won't be come a police officer, so he and Dennis spend the next few hours getting drunk and high, chasing down several kids on skateboards and beating them up. Finding out that the person who is robbing the mall is in fact Dennis, Ronnie wakes up to find himself knocked out. Dennis drives a lotto prize through the windows of the mall, driving it all the way to Mexico. Feeling like he has been beaten up, which he was by the police department, when he wouldn't leave the mall, One day when he returns to the mall Nell is crying she tells Ronnie that her boss is making fun of her and she can't stop him, Ronnie goes into the back and almost sticks the guys head in the oven, Ronnie tells him that if he ever makes fun of Nell again, he will come back. When Ronnie is walking through the mall, he sees the flasher running through the mall, Ronnie gives chase and things take a nasty turn, to say that we observe everything is a little too mild, we see EVERYTHING. The chase lasts for several minutes, and when the flasher comes face to face with Brandi, Ronnie appears from a hidden doorway and discharges his duty, he than drags the bleeding man to the police station where he brags that it was him who caught the flasher.

I give Observe and Report a 1, for the two or three times I did laugh, and on my avoidance scale I give it a 2 this is the type of movie that should be watch when it makes it's way to your local cable channels. When the movie finally ends, we feel that every one of our senses has been assaulted, we are ashamed that we laughed at some of the jokes, but overall we feel like this was a waste of time and money.

Observe And Report is rated R for Pervasive Language, Graphic Nudity, Drug Use, Sexual Content and Violence
Running time is 1 hr. 26 mins.

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