Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Collector Offers Nothing In Originality

Horror movies have always been of a particular interest to me, they make my heart pound and my pulse race, I love the way I feel sitting through a good horror movie. Unfortunately "The Collector" the newest slasher type movie by the writers of Saw IV, V and VI didn't make my heart race or my pulse pound, it just made my head pound. It was loud and gives little insight to making a story that anyone can follow, it is written just like the Saw movies, little is revealed about the characters, the plot is rushed and so thin you can see through it. We get little plot, little substance and little believability. Oh we do get trap after trap, and we also get loads of blood. If that's all you want in a horror movie, you will love this movie, if you require something of substance, this movie will be a huge disappointment.

Handyman Arkin (Josh Stewart) knows that the owners of the huge home that he has been working on are going on an extended vacation, he also knows that there is a hidden safe in the bedroom behind a mirror, he also knows in that safe is a huge uncut diamond, so big that he can pay off the debts his wife has incurred to some nasty loan sharks. Arkin takes what little pay he has to his wife, Lisa (Daniella Alonso) he buys a bear for his daughter Cindy (Haley Pullos) and tells his wife he needs until midnight to get the rest of the money for her. The home is owned by Michael (Michael Reilly Burke) and Victoria (Andrea Roth) the two younger children Jill (Madeline Zima) and Hannah (Karley Scott Collins) are horror movie victims waiting in the wings. When Arkin goes to his boss, the man who he steals for, he tells Roy (Robert Wisdom) he needs to get the diamond that night and he needs the money right away, like that night.

When Arkin goes to the property he is walking in the yard and is confronted by a huge dog, one that wasn't on the property before that night, the dog takes a huge bite out of Arkin's ski mask. I was waiting for the hole to get bigger and smaller or to disappear all together. Does he not think that the owners have no dog, and therefore where did this dog come from? No he doesn't. Arkin next gets into the house and goes upstairs to the bedroom where the safe is, he hears a door open and someone coming up the stairs, it is the collector (Juan Fernández) a madman who decides he wants to add to his twisted collection. He collects people and when he decides who he wants he goes and takes them. The rest of the family are just fodder, he kills who he doesn't want. Arkin is able to slip past the collector and get downstairs, he finds several new locks on the back door. Locks that were not there earlier that same morning when he was at the home. When the collector goes back downstairs Arkin decides he can make it back upstairs and retrieve the diamond after all. Of course he changes his mind when he hears screams coming through the air vents. Arkin goes to investigate and finds Michael in the basement tied to a chair. Arkin also finds Victoria handcuffed to a bathtub (HUH) this is a miracle since bathtubs have no place to handcuff any one to. Michael tells Arkin there is a gun in the safe, he also tells Arkin the combination to the safe, Arkin goes back upstairs to get the gun and while he is there he helps himself to the diamond. Victoria asks him where Hanna is, that she is in the house somewhere hiding.

The problem with the gun is there are no bullets and the collector is a knife expert, and he has worked some more magic, he has set several dozen elaborate traps throughout the whole house. He has boarded the windows and set traps outside that as well. One room is full of bear traps set to spring, one room has acid poured on the floor, that eats through Arkins shoes but yet doesn't eat through the wooden floor. One trap after another is found and avoided by Arkin, when Jill and her boyfriend Chad (Alex Feldman) come back to the house it adds a couple more victims for the collectors traps to actually work on. Here we also get the boob shot as the couple make out while the collector watches, when he is finally seen he dispatches Chad right away, Jill he wants to play with before he kills her. Leaving her tied to the stairwell, the collector leaves and Arkin comes and cuts the barbed wire off her, Jill is so scared that she runs from Arkin and right into one of the set traps.

Of course Arkin finds Hanna and sets about rescuing her, he puts himself in harms way in order to get her out of the house. The fight between Arkin and the collector is violent and bloody. The two start outside and end up inside the house, Arkin has what must be the worlds greatest threshold to pain because he does stuff to himself that would have beaten most men. Of course seeing that this movie is written by the men who wrote the last couple saw movies we expect to have nothing explained, nothing definitive happen, we expect to have mystery and lots of questions. We do get the mystery, like who is the Collector, I know they tell us which person he is but who IS he? Why is it that he does what he does? How long has he been collecting people? see we get the questions too. The movie is a big disappointment to true horror fans. if you like the saw movies get ready for the new franchise, because the collector is here, and unfortunately he may be here for a long time.

I give The collector a 0 and on my avoidance scale a 4, this is one movie that gives you nothing but blood, blood and more blood. The only difference between the collector and jigsaw, is the collector gets his hands dirty, where Jigsaw allowed you to make the choice, live or die it was up to the person, here the collector kills you if your not the one he wants. The movie is loud and that's to mask that there is simply no plot to this movie, Hollywood thinks that movie goers just want action and gore, that may be, but make it real.

The Collector is rated R for Pervasive Sadistic Bloody Violence, Language and some Sexuality/Nudity
Running time is 1 hr. 25 mins.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where did the second guy go to? There have been several reviews now that he has not posted reviews to? Is he still working on the blog? I liked the fact that I got two different views on the same movie, I liked his pictures and poster as well I like the way you review films now, the spaces help on the eyes and you don't give away any spoilers now. Keep up the good work and hurry up and coem back Optimist.

John Davis

The Cynic said...

The Optimist is still a part of this blog, he took a much needed vacation and is visiting Europe. he wil ltry to make posts when he can from there. He tells me that movies open wicked late over there.
Up and Drag Me To Hell were last fridays major openings. The Optimist will be back when he is ready. I'm glad that you enjoy the reviews both his and mine, that is the purpose of this site to inform and entertain.

The Cynic.