Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Can you unlock the door now? This isn't my House.


In rural Alabama, two couples find themselves in a fight for survival in House. Running from a maniac (The Tin Man) bent on killing them, they flee deep into the woods and seek refuge in a house. They soon realize the killer has purposely lured them to this house and that they are now trapped. As they huddle around an old fireplace, a tin can falls through the chimney. Scrawled on its side is a message from the killer, establishing his House Rules. The rules call for their deaths unless they kill at least one of the four. They have less than 12 hours to find a way to survive. At sunrise the game is over and everyone dies if the killer's demands aren't met. What they quickly learn is that the only way out... is in. But going further into this house--where unknown challenges await them--is equally deadly.


If you wanted to look up the word "clusterfuck" in a cinematic dictionary, this is the film they would recommend to you. Horrible acting, horrendous editing, and possibly one of the most retarded stories I've ever seen committed to celluloid. There were so many plot holes that my head nearly exploded from the sheer stupidity of the film. And what the hell was Michael Madsen thinking? He's an actor, unlike the rest of the people in this horrid excuse for a film. I like Michael Madsen and the plot seemed like something I might enjoy. I watched this film and I regret it. At no point throughout the film does it explain what is going on and why. The characters just second guess as to what is happening and I was frustrated at the lack of explanation for what was going on. The character development in this movie was rushed to the point that you did not care either way what happened to them and the characters were also stupid, bland and very gullible. Miscast of the year has to go to Michael Madsen here. He was in the film for all of 5 minutes and he pretty much did nothing within that time.The director does not explain what is going on and why. When I watch a film I want answers and the fact that this film does not give any, ruins it entirely. In closing, House was a big let down. I'm not even gonna try to explain the plot, It's SO not worth it. One of the worse of the year, House gets a 1 on my "Go See" scale. Don't bother with this one.

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